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Beautifully Crafted Tributes as Unique as the Life They Celebrate.
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SPOTLIGHT … With Life Celebrant Michelle Harvey – Insights directly from the Heart of the Ceremonies.
Having crossed paths with Michelle through the funeral industry, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing her dedication and compassion first hand. Recently Michelle agreed to share her wealth of knowledge and experience as a funeral celebrant by participating in a Q&A for Orchid Memories.
Can you explain what a life celebrant is and what role they play in funeral ceremonies?
A Funeral Celebrant is the person who is responsible for the “Ceremony” part of the funeral, so in effect everything that happens within the chapel / crematorium / venue where service is being held. They should visit the family beforehand and help them to create a personalised and meaningful ceremony, advising the family on all aspects of what can be done, to help give their loved one a good send off.
How did you become a life celebrant? Can you share your journey and what inspired you to pursue this profession?
I wrote Eulogies many years ago, before Celebrants were really a “thing” – but having two young children, I wasn’t ready to go out there and be a celebrant. Fast forward to when both my children were grown and I had a mass exodus from my home, one to Uni and one to join the Navy, and I felt it was my time to devote to a meaningful career, which I wanted to do. I had also been to a funeral which was celebrant led, and decided that I would look into it. My father who worked in semi retirement as a Pall Bearer, pointed me in the right direction for an independent Funeral Director, who gave me a chance, I also took the NOCN Level 3 qualification.
What is the importance of personalisation in funeral ceremonies, and how does a life celebrant contribute to that?
Personalisation comes in many forms, and is as unique as the person who has passed. It is important for those left behind, in their grief process, to feel they “did them proud” with a fitting service, and nowadays, anything goes – which I think is really nice. There isn’t a rule book, and a good Celebrant will help with ideas, and suggestions that will help the family.
How do you work with families to create personalised funeral ceremonies that reflect the life and personality of the deceased?
Asking the right questions is so important. Also, a home visit can tell you so much about someone. I encourage families and loved ones to share stories, a lot can be gleamed from what others have to say, also what favourite TV programs they liked, did they travel much, what were their music preferences, that sort of thing.
I have worn Minnie Mouse ears for a young lady who had severe learning difficulties, she loved Disney. I have also worn a Pink Feather Boa. I have got mourners up to dance to Dancing Queen by Abba, and also sing along to 500 miles by The Proclaimers, whilst stamping their feet. I have asked mourners to blow kisses, clap their hands, sing songs, I have played sounds like the Vaporisation from Star trek, a Harley Davidson Motorbike revving up and also a Spitfire plane taking off at the point of committal.
In your experience, what are some common misconceptions or myths about funeral ceremonies that you often encounter?
I think the most common one is that people think the music has to be sombre – so many times I say, pick music for the person, not the occasion. Just recently, a daughter wanted “I’m too sexy for my shirt” by Right Said Fred for her dad, she didn’t think she would be able to, when I said yes, absolutely, she was thrilled and her face lit up. Music is a great way of celebrating someone so loved.
How do you handle grief and emotions during the funeral ceremony? What are some strategies or techniques you use to provide comfort and support?
Every funeral affects me, but I have a way of compartmentalising my emotions, but they always have to be let out, and normally I do this with a good cry (or sing song) on the way home. There are some that hit you hard, and normally the funeral services of children are extremely difficult, I never cry during a ceremony, but I think it is OK to show sadness on my face, and that is because I am feeling it. I do care, and I think that people need to know that too.
How do you collaborate with funeral directors, or other professionals involved in the funeral planning process?
Funeral arrangers are very busy people so endeavour to send over information like music and the running order, as soon as I have it, also if there is other information that I have gleamed, that I think the Funeral Arranger or Director may need to know, I let them know that too. Communication with the funeral home is very important, and I like Funeral Arrangers to know they can trust me to give them everything on time, and in detail.
Can you share any tips or advice for individuals who are planning a funeral ceremony and looking to hire a life celebrant?
Do your homework. Recommendation is a great way to get a good celebrant, if you recall a good funeral service and can remember the funeral directors used, give them a call. Funeral directors know most of the good ones, and a good arranger will listen to what you want, and make the right suggestion. Sadly, there are many Celebrants, and not all are qualified or experienced, so don’t always go for the cheapest. You only hold a funeral service once, so make sure you get it right.
How has the role of a life celebrant evolved over the years, and what do you see for the future of this profession?
With over 65% of services being taken by Celebrants, it has definitely taken over the “Minister” led services. But, it has opened the doors to many coming into the profession for the wrong reasons, and I am always dubious with the “online” courses that are being advertised. Not everyone is cut out to be a celebrant, even if their forte has been a good speaker and writer, there is much more to it than that. Speak to a good celebrant, even if they can’t take the service for you, they will help you and advise where possible.
